


To have a home

by Kamron01



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Blaine being guilty, Blangst, M/M, Santana being supportive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:28:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26732128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamron01/pseuds/Kamron01
Summary: Klaine one-shotAfter their Grease run, Blaine invites everyone over to his house for a celebration. Instead of partying, Blaine ends up on his balcony, deep in his thoughts. Santana offers moral support.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce, They're both mentioned - Relationship
Kudos: 18





	To have a home

“I thought I’d find you out here…” She walks out through the balcony door, the moonlight gently kissing her skin. It’s peaceful, tranquil as the trees sway ceremoniously with the wind, the gentle howling of the persistent breeze. She overlooks the man standing at the edge on to the field which traverses the land, a shining emerald of grass and colourful plants. She can see the forest, living at the back of the garden as the horizon blends seamlessly with the night sky.

Santana walks onto the balcony, her heels tapping on beat as she makes her way over to the edge, her hair bouncing and bobbing with each step. Just as she reaches the edge, she holds out for the railing, the metal bar cool against her heated skin. It’s peaceful, a complete contrast to the inner turmoil within herself – and inside her friend too. Her hands grip the balcony handrail as she closes her eyes and breathes in the fresh air. It smells like rain, and a hint – a faint smell of smoke. It smells like freedom, empty and unbound. The air opens her lungs, frees her mind and calms her soul. In the madness which erupts within the house, it’s nice to be able to leave for a little while – escape to somewhere, some place where she can think about everything and nothing all at once.

“I just needed some time to think.” He responds, his voice low and slightly broken. Santana can tell by the way his shoulders are minimally slouched, his elbows resting on the cool metal and his closed eyes that everything is taking a toll on his body, and that he’s barely holding himself together. She can tell because she’s worn that same look, held her body in the exact same way, clinging onto a lifeline you know will never come.

“It’s nice, isn’t it? The fresh air. It’s – “

“Calming.” He finishes off. His nose flares slightly as he takes in a deep breath; a long, deep breath. She turns away from her friend, looking once again over the fields.

“You have a nice home, by the way.”

“Thanks… although it’s never really felt like home.” He responds.

“Why is that?”

“Not sure really. It’s always felt… empty. Even when everyone would be here, it’s always felt like something was missing.” He laughs gently at himself, “I’ve had a taste of what home feels like and now I’ve gone and messed that up.”

They fall into a silence, the music from within the house echoing between them. It’s a strange feeling - the deep bass thrumming, vibrating inside of their chests. It makes them want to get up and dance, but instead they stay still; a captive in their own body. It stays like that for some time, until Santana breaks the silence,

“I remember feeling so lost, unsure and angry at who I was. It didn’t feel like I had a home back then, not until I was in her arms. With her, everything felt okay. I felt safe. And now…”

“Why did everything change? Last year, it was all going so good – I felt happy in way I don’t think I’ve ever felt. Why was I given that, just for it to be taken away a second later?” His voice breaks at the very end, unable to hold in the little, broken cry. His head drops into his hands, the hot tears running down his face until they pool at the tip of his chin. He opens his eyes to see one tear drop, glistening as it surrenders to the force of gravity.

“I’m not sure…” Santana responds, her voice broken, barely holding together. She feels everything he’s feeling – almost too much. It’s almost like they are living the same pain, the same heartbreak.

“You know, when he left, I was scared. I could feel it the second he boarded that plane that everything was going to change. I kept telling myself, ‘It’ll be okay’ and that ‘we’ll be together soon’. But every single time I tried to get through to him, “his voice chokes, struggling to speak over the lump forming in his throat, “it just felt like I didn’t matter anymore. He was in New York, you know? The city of everyone’s dreams. He was living his life and I… I kept telling myself that I was being stupid. ‘He loves you’ and all that but… every single time he didn’t answer the phone or missed a skype call and it was getting harder to believe.

But you know what’s the worst thing? I gave in. I fucked some other guy I met, and I remember feeling that ‘everything felt wrong’. I remember the second I pulled out and it crashed. Everything crashed. And I just keep thinking, ‘what if I waited a second longer?’ you know? If I had waited a second longer, maybe I would have realised that Kurt still loves me. Maybe I wouldn’t have gone over to that guy’s house, I wouldn’t have fucked him, I wouldn’t have lost the only thing that matters to me…” He pushes off the railing and lands into the chair behind him. Slumped and defeated.

Santana remains standing, her eyes shining and wet with unshed tears. It hurts to see her friend so broken over something so stupid. And the realisation scares her that if she hadn’t broken up with Brittney, then she would be feeling the exact same as her friend. The guilt, the crashing turmoil painted so obviously across his face. They aren’t living the same heartbreak, but they sure are living through the same pain. They’ve both lost their home – the one person they could retreat to and everything would be fine, they’ve both loved and lost, just in different ways.

“I’ve never felt at home than when I’m with him. I know that I saved him from a point in his life that was so dark – but I don’t think he realises how much he saved me… I’ve never felt so free and now?” His voice breaks even further, “I’m scared I’m never going to find it again. I had my chance, my taste at the feeling of home… and I blew it.”

They fall into another silence, the breeze blowing as the leaves of the trees bristle and fall. They can hear singing coming from the house but it does nothing to quell the feeling of hopelessness.

“Maybe, “She voices softly, “you will get it back. Maybe not with Kurt, but with someone else?”

He laughs, “Not going to happen.”

“Why not?”

“You tell me? Do you think you can find someone else that’ll make you feel the way you feel with Brittney? That type of love is different.” Santana ponders for a moment. He’s right. The love she had, still has for Brittney is something she’s never felt before. It’s different, powerful… It makes her feel at home, free and completely comfortable. It’s something she won’t find in anyone else besides Brittney.

He stands up from his chair, walking the railing once more. His hands grip the handrails as he breathes in the air again. “What do I do now?”

Santana thinks, not really sure what to say, “I don’t really know. Maybe you do nothing, let nature take it’s course?”

He laughs, “How is that going to help?”

“Well… you’re going to NYADA right?”

“That if I get in…”

Santana laughs, “Look no offence to lady Hummel but if he can get in – you sure as hell have no problem.” Blaine rolls his eyes, “So you’re going to NYADA, you’ll be with him again in New York. Maybe not as boyfriends, but as friends? If it’s meant to be, then I don’t really see anything going wrong.”

Blaine looks towards the sky for a little while, taking in the natural beauty of the stars shining bright before answering, “So what about you? How are you going to get Brittney back?”

“I don’t think I will. We go to different cities, different Universities. It wouldn’t work.”

“Or…” Blaine looks towards Santana, a little glimmer in his eyes, “maybe you should let nature take it’s course. If it’s meant to be, then it will be right?”

“Who knows?” Santana shrugs. What she doesn’t expect is a hug from Blaine, the way his body moulds into hers. The cold breeze is quelled by the warmth of his body and it’s comforting. She hugs back, wrapping her arms around Blaine’s back and just enjoying the feeling. “You want to go back inside?”

Blaine pulls away slightly to look into his friend’s eyes, “Sure.” He winces slightly, the punch from Santana not really hurting, just surprising. He looks back at her before she says,

“Tell anyone about this and I’ll skin you alive.”

Blaine laughs, the complete shift in Santana’s character from melancholic, deep understanding, vulnerable, to the hard exterior is surprising, and completely welcomed. He laughs again before adding, “Your form is pretty good, you know? Took a couple of months for me to perfect my punching form…”

“I’ve been fighting since I was three, Lima Heights Adjacent is no safe place – not like this private estate you live in.” Santana quips.

“Whatever… let’s just get back inside. Oh and, “Blaine pulls on Santana’s arm before saying, “Thank you for, you know? Listening to me before.”

Santana smiles, her inside warming up as she realises that she’s becoming a better friend. That’s all down to Brittney, she thinks. “Anytime.”


End file.
